I have a question
by secedo
Summary: A simple conversation turns into a never ending game of questions and answers when Lucas realizes that he never got to know Maya the way he would have liked.
1. Chapter 1

It was the Saturday before the first day of their senior year and Riley had, to everyone's surprised, managed to get permission from her parents to have an unsupervised sleepover with the small group that had been together since she could remember. Her parents and Auggie had gone to Pittsburg for the weekend to visit Riley's grandparents, and they deemed Riley responsible enough (she was sure it had to do with Farkle's being there too) to have her friends over with nothing bad happening.

They were right.

Even though the five of them didn't spend every waking moment together anymore and had made their own friends in whatever sports and clubs they'd broken off to, they still came together easily when they did. Farkle and Zay were at war over some video game of Auggie's while Lucas waited for his turn by busying himself strumming lightly on Maya's guitar, which he'd been trying to master for the past six months. Riley had contorted herself into what looked like a very uncomfortable position on an armchair and was flipping mindlessly through one of her magazines, and Maya was scrolling through Lucas' phone changing some of his settings (his lock screen was now a picture of her giving herself a mustache with Riley's hair) as well as the names of all of his contacts.

"Maya, would you say Lucas is a summer or a spring," Riley asked absentmindedly, causing Maya to look up and study Lucas with a furrowed brow as he glanced between the two of them in confusion.

After only a few seconds of scrutiny she declared him a 'summer for sure', although she really didn't understand what seasons and looks had ever had to do with one another. Riley nodded though, so she figured it was a job well done.

"What does that even mean," Lucas questioned. He finally set the guitar off to the side, more interested now in why he was suddenly the topic of some gibberish he didn't understand. He sat forward on the coach and as he looked over toward Riley, trying to catch a glimpse of the magazine article she was reading, Maya took the opportunity to bury his phone a ways in the couch cushion so that he wouldn't see it immediately and figure out what she'd done.

"It's a guide on what colors you should be wearing to accentuate you better. I'm a winter, Maya's a summer too," she explained as though that should have been the easiest thing in the world. This caused Lucas to take the magazine from her hands and scan over the page, trying to figure out just what the fuck these crazy women were even talking about. It wasn't much of a help. All he saw were different color pallets that he didn't know anything about.

"Good Y'all can have nice summer babies and name them summer and move someplace where it's always summer and stop distracting me from this game," Zay called out without looking up from the tv set in front of him. Farkle hadn't even noticed a word had been said it seemed.

Lucas chuckled but Riley and Maya ignored the outburst entirely. They'd grown pretty used to ignoring one another's outbursts. Of course, they were usually from Maya.

Riley cocked her head to the side and looked at Maya more intently. It seemed that she was very intrigued by seasons for god only knows what reason. "Do you think it works like that? Could two summers have a spring or an autumn? I didn't really pay attention too much in biology." No, of course she hadn't, because they'd taken that class back in the days when Riley was too obsessed with Lucas to care about anything they were learning unless it was molded to fit her interests perfectly. That had been years ago though, hence the allowance from the Matthews' to allow Lucas over unsupervised.

"Don't ask me, I'm not even having kids."

Well this response just wouldn't do and it earned Maya a very pointed glare from her brunette best friend. "Of course you're going to have kids. Why would you think you aren't going to have kids?"

The truth was, Maya had this fight constantly, be it with her mother or with her Gammy Hart or the OB/GYN when she'd gone to get birth control for the first time. Her frustration with it showed as her shoulders slumped and she let out an exasperated sigh. This was exactly why she and Riley had never had this conversation before. "I don't want to have kids. I want to adopt and I don't think winter or spring is a checkbox on the adoption form."

Nobody knew if it was because the silence was so deafening or because the boys actually cared about the personal admission from their friend, but the game controllers and magazines were down. All attention was on one another. Riley looked like a hurt puppy for reasons nobody could really understand because it wasn't like Maya had said anything wrong. "Is there something wrong with you? Can you not be a mom?"

Riley looked worried for her friend and this was exactly what Maya expected. To not be understood. "What? No. I just want to adopt. I got left. A lot of kids get left. I don't feel right about having a child when there's another me in some house somewhere wondering why she wasn't good enough. I'd feel guilty." She could see the wheels turning in Riley's head and decided quickly to amend her statement. "It's not like I think this is true for everyone. Farkle told me he wanted like fourteen kids, I don't think that makes him a bad person or anything. I get that some people want that for themselves. They want that structured fairytale of falling in love and getting married and having babies that are made up of two halves of love into one whole perfect being. That just isn't how I see it going for me. That isn't something I want for myself."

Riley nodded, a little more sure of the thought process, but still obviously not completely behind it. Riley wanted that American dream though and Maya knew that. It was never going to make sense to her that some people didn't crave that normalcy that her parents had. Maya got it. It wasn't a big deal.

"What if whoever you end up with doesn't feel the same way," Farkle pressed on. Really, Maya should have felt awkward being the center of such attention. She wasn't sure how or why this was happening but it was actually kind of nice to get her thoughts out there to people whose opinion she cared for.

She thought about the question, but not too hard. She moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "I don't know, I guess I feel like that's such an important part of who I am that it's just a given that whoever I'm with will feel the same way, or at least support me. I don't see how I'd ever get far enough to talk about kids with someone who didn't share the same values as me, you know?"

Riley still looked a bit hesitant and it kind of annoyed Maya because it wasn't Riley's life. She didn't have to approve of the choices that Maya made for herself. She knew it was just because her still ridiculously sheltered best friend hadn't ventured outside of her bubble much though.

Lucas, who had been quiet even though he'd helped start this entire debacle, finally spoke up to champion for Maya of all people, although it wasn't really a surprise to anyone. "I think that makes a lot of sense. I can't see you falling in love with someone from a perfect family or something like that. You're the type of person who connects on that deeper level. If he doesn't understand your darkness then there's no way."

The way that Lucas hit the nail right on the head shook Maya a bit. All she could really do was nod. Thankfully, the moment was shattered with an, "I guess I can understand that. I just think you'd make a really pretty baby," from Riley, which allowed them to start laughing and joking about how many of their own kids they wanted and the fact that Riley would definitely name her first born child Princess.

A few hours and five banana splits later everyone was asleep but Maya. Riley was in her own bed, Farkle in Auggie's, and Zay was on the couch. Lucas was camped out on the living room floor, which meant Maya had to walk right by his head to get to the fridge to grab the jar of cherries. She sucked in a breath when he stirred, not wanting to wake him, but it was too late. "What are you doing," he asked in a whisper. She held up the jar as an answer and he immediately got to his feet.

With a nod of her head she gestured for him to follow her. She climbed out the living room window and onto the fire escape where she sat on the landing and moved over to make room for Lucas. She uncapped the jar and took a cherry, holding it out for him to do the same. The fire escape wasn't big so they were sat with their shoulders brushed up against one another, but they didn't seem to notice.

"I really liked what you said earlier. It made me think about my own future." He twirled the empty cherry stem around between his fingers as he spoke.

Maya looked up at him and smiled. She hadn't taken him for someone who would have any doubts in that department. "Oh yeah? I thought you had it all figured out, Mr. Perfect. Become a vet, fall in love with a school teacher, have three little girls with snow white hair and green eyes who help you brush your horses after school," she teased.

Lucas let out a low chuckle that quickly turned into a sigh. "Why three little girls?" It was a weird thing to add in he thought. A little too specific for her to not have a reason, or at least a joke to go with it.

"Oh, you're having girls. All girls. There's no way you're having boys." She didn't say it as if she were just making things up. She said it in a very matter-of-fact tone, as if she'd gone into the future and scoped it out for him. "You were built to be a tough dad. If you don't use all of that," she gestured with her hand up and down his body, "to scare off teenage boys and pick up broken hearts then it's just a waste."

Lucas turned his head to study Maya for what felt like a minute but was probably only about four seconds before completely agreeing. "I'm too damn sensitive for sons anyway," he admitted, happy to elicit a genuine laugh from Maya. "Why don't we talk more," he asked finally, a little quieter.

"I don't know but we can talk whenever you want, Cowboy." She meant it, but she had no idea what she was inviting in by saying it.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the second week of school and already the pressure was getting to be too much for Lucas. He was having a hard time unwinding between his AP classes and his extracurriculars. It was only Tuesday and he already felt like he was going to explode. This wasn't like him and it was a bit worrisome even for him, so he kissed his mama on the cheek and told her that he was going to go for a walk to clear his head. She worried, but he assured her he'd be okay. He'd lived here for six years now and he was pretty sure he'd grown at least a little bit into a New Yorker.

He walked for half an hour, hands shoved into his pockets and feet dragging in a way that he would have been yelled at for had his father been around. He didn't have a destination in mind but when he found himself in Maya's neighborhood he settled on one. He quickened his pace and was knocking lightly at her window within a few minutes. He hadn't been here in quite some time so he was hoping against hopes that he'd remembered the right one. He said a silent prayer as he heard rustling from the other side of the glass and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her familiar blonde curls as she raised the window shade.

"Well, Lucas Friar, to what do I owe the pleasure of a gentleman caller at this hour," she asked in a mock southern accent.

He huffed out a small laugh and she was opening the window before he could even mock her back. Maybe she sensed his need for a friend or maybe she just saw him for more than their game these days. He didn't think too hard about it.

She moved back to her perch on her bed where she'd been highlighting lines in a book she was reading for an english assignment but she didn't make to pick the book back up. "What's up," she asked more seriously as he laid himself out on her floor dramatically staring up at the ceiling. If he wasn't so obviously upset it would have made her laugh.

"So I was home, right," he started, still staring up at the ceiling and making Maya feel a bit like a shrink. She didn't care. "I was doing my statistics homework, which I don't fucking get by the way at all, and I kept getting these notifications on my phone and it's like 'oh hey don't forget to wear your practice jersey tomorrow' and some girl who keeps hinting that she wants me to ask her to homecoming liking every single picture I've ever posted on facebook and I just couldn't get anything done and I don't know how people juggle everything," he explained, talking with his hands and in the most frustrated tones Maya had ever heard from him.

With a sigh she found herself sliding off of the bed and lying down on the floor opposite him so that their legs were facing opposite walls and their heads were parallel. "Well first of all, your classes are too hard and you were insane for signing up for them in the first place," she told him, trying to lighten his mood just a little bit.

It didn't.

"Honestly though, just turn your phone off sometimes and let people wait for responses. You aren't superman. You can't be everything to everyone at once."

"How do you manage it?" He turned his head toward her as if finally addressing that it was actually a person he was talking to and not just himself.

"Me? I don't manage anything. I hand in half finished assignments if I hand them in at all and the only person who ever texts me is Riley and even then I usually can't find my phone anyway." This did actually get a laugh out of him. A small one, you might even have called it a huff of air, but Maya was certain it was the best laugh he could muster up.

"Speaking of texts, I got a very interesting one from Zay the other day about whether or not I wanted chicken pot pie for dinner. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" He smiled, but only after he saw the enormous and guilty grin break out on Maya's own face.

Rather than answer when Lucas obviously knew exactly what she'd done, she went back to the most important point he'd brought up. "Is she cute?"

His expression sobered and he looked at her a bit confused. "Is who cute?" He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, which was probably good because it meant she was taking his mind off of his current annoyances.

"The girl, the one who wants you to take her to homecoming," she refreshed his memory, which earned her a hearty "hah" from Lucas as he turned his head back to look at the ceiling again. He'd only just realized that it was covered in sketches, much like the rest of her wall where band posters weren't taking up space.

"No," he answered finally. It was a pretty definitive statement which made him wonder why he'd even cared in the first place. Probably because taking her was what was expected of him as a popular jock. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah of course."

"That night, when you were talking about the person you'll end up with," he started, which startled her a little. "How do you think that all works, like, how does this whole dating thing even go? Because I feel like it's around that time when it's less about taking girls to movies and giving them your jacket and more about actually figuring that kind of stuff out. Take what you were saying for example, how do you know he won't fall for you before you get to find that kind of stuff out about him and just render all of what you said completely worthless?"

It was a loaded question and Lucas knew it, but it didn't even seem like Maya had to think on it. He didn't get how she was so sure of herself.

"I guess for me I think it'll be a long story. I think if some stranger came up to me and asked to take me to dinner I'd always remember that he wanted to get to know me because I'm hot and not because he saw something in me. I think that's where that difference is. I don't think I'll ever be the type to be courted. I know it's such an old fashioned word but that's exactly what Riley's marriage will be. She'll meet a boy, he'll ask her out, they'll go on three dates before she kisses him and he'll call after two days every time to schedule another one. I see myself being with whoever I end up with for a long time before I know I'm with him. I don't think it would work any other way for me. I want to be friends, you know?"

Lucas was quiet as he mulled over what she said in his head. "You say these things and they're so out of the box but you make them sound so simple and obvious. Like why wouldn't I want to adopt six kids when they're already there and need me, and why would I settle for someone who was only interested in me in the first place because I was cute?"

Maya just shrugged because to her it really was just that simple. "The norm just doesn't make any sense to me and it takes a special breed to feel that way. I guess we're just cut from the same cloth." She pulled at a peace of her hair, examining her split ends a little more intently than necessary because the silence, while still comfortable, was also palpable for once. "Do you really want to adopt because of me? Because I've never had someone listen to me and actually admit I had a point before."

Lucas laughed, this time a real one, and just shook his head. "Do you wanna go to homecoming with me," was all he was going to come back with, which made her laugh in return.

"Yeah, Lucas, I do."


	3. Chapter 3

This was not a date. This was absolutely, positively, without a doubt, not a date. At least that's what Maya was swearing up and down while looking at her reflection in the full length mirror on the back of her bedroom door. It was a gold dress that she'd found at a consignment shop and taken in herself - something she'd had to teach herself if she wanted to be able to build a wardrobe without going into debt. She smoothed her hand over the fabric and tilted her head to the side, watching her curls cascade over her shoulder. She almost didn't hear the knock on the apartment's front door. For all she knew he could have been knocking for five minutes.

The evening went by fairly quickly and the nerves died off almost instantly. It was just like any other time they hung out, except this time Lucas had given her a flower and Maya danced with him on purpose. There was really nothing out of the ordinary at all.

Aside from everything.

* * *

 _"Should we swear off boys for homecoming this year and just go together?" They were at the mall looking at dresses for Riley and the question came as she twirled in a short blue number in front of a three way mirror._

 _Maya wasn't really sure what to do. She hadn't considered that she would have to actually put words together to explain what was happening. "I'm kind of going with Lucas," she finally admitted, searching through her purse for her chapstick to busy herself._

 _"What do you mean you're going with Lucas? When did that happen?" The search for the perfect dress was forgotten and the only thing Riley was looking at in the mirror in front of her was Maya sitting in the chair behind her._

 _It wasn't like Riley still had any claim over Lucas. It had been years since that whole thing had ended. The two were the best of friends now and they'd each seen the other in silly little relationships since without any hints of jealousy. That wasn't a worry at all._

 _The worry was whether or not anyone else was going to be able to get past the fact that the best friends seemed to be passing him back and forth. That didn't even matter though because it wasn't a date. Maya and Lucas were not an item and this was not a thing._

 _"Nothing happened. He was getting harassed by some girl who wanted him to take her and he didn't know what to do so he asked me to be his buffer." Maybe that wasn't exactly how it had gone down but the truth was that Maya hadn't really paid much attention to it. She hadn't thought about it to really process how or why it did go down._

 _Riley seemed to accept this and the matter was once again put out of her head entirely. It probably shouldn't have been._

* * *

"Do you want to have an adventure," Lucas asked in the middle of some song Maya hadn't heard before and really didn't like. Dances weren't her thing and by the looks of it they weren't Lucas' either. They were both pretty popular though so they were always expected to show up. She'd never considered that he hadn't wanted to in the first place.

She considered his question but then nodded almost instantly. "Yes, please, I don't know how many more girls I can tell that they look so pretty and red is really their color. We know it isn't."

Lucas laughed and released his grip on her waist. "You're the only one here who can pull off the red lips, don't worry," he assured her with a mock smile, making it clear that he was just playing along with her act.

"It's because they're all playing with wet and wild when we all know allowances should be spent on NARS not shoes."

Lucas had no idea, again, what she was talking about and when he realized that asking was going to get him nowhere he settled for leading her out of the dance, stopping to say goodbye to Riley and Farkle first and promising to catch up with them later first of course.

Twenty minutes and one subway ride later and Maya was standing in a crowded McDonalds with her brows furrowed in confusion. "This doesn't seem like much of an adventure."

She was met with a pair of promising green eyes but not a word of assurance. He ordered for them and they sat at a booth in the far corner, Lucas insisting that they sit on the same side so that they could people watch with ease. The entire thing was just very strange.

Three thrown french fries and one almost incident between Lucas and a twenty something tough guy later Maya had instituted a no more engaging policy. They could people watch but they couldn't interfere, which took the fun out of the adventure she hadn't even realized he'd made good on in the first place.

"So hey," she began, nudging him with her elbow and leaning toward him as if ready to listen intently. "Why do you go to those things if you don't even like them?"

With a barely there shrug and eyes drifting toward their tray, Lucas let out a barely audible i-don't-know noise. "Everyone else does so why not?" He didn't seem to have much more of an answer, like it wasn't even something he'd considered he could skip out on.

Maya understood that. She was sure if she said she didn't want to go to a dance that Riley and Farkle both would have her head. "I guess I just wonder why people would do things they didn't want to do just because it's the expected thing to do."

He thought a second and finally seemed to humor her. "Fear of missing out I guess? I don't want to wake up in thirty years and wish I'd participated more or something equally as stupid."

"I think this is the stuff I'm scared of missing out on. I won't remember in thirty years who was on the homecoming court and the fact that some girl somehow had the same dress as mine even though I bought mine at a thrift shop," she joked. Her tone softened slightly as she continued. "I will probably remember you almost getting into it with some kid in a McDonald's dining room just because you threw a french fry at him though."

Lucas laughed and offered up a sly smile as if he was proud of his accomplishment. "Yeah but I'm definitely going to remember that dress so see? Something I would have missed out on."

Maya rolled her eyes dramatically to acknowledge that Lucas was very obviously flirting with her but that she didn't plan on playing along. Honestly, it was because she didn't know how serious he was and she didn't want to make anything awkward by going in the wrong direction with it. "Let's go to Zay's, Casanova, I'm sure the dance has let out and the keg is tapped by now."

"Just one thing." Lucas stopped her before she could get all the way out of the booth. "Did you have a fun adventure?"

Maya offered him a sincere smile and nodded her head before taking his hand and pulling him up with her. She didn't let go as they walked back to the subway.


	4. Chapter 4

Things seemed to be par for the course over the next few weeks. Lucas and Maya rarely spent time alone given their busy schedules and the demands of the rest of their friends, mutual and otherwise. It wasn't because they'd made things weird though, that was obvious given the sincere smiles as they passed one another in the hallway and the ease when they would hang out in a group.

It wasn't until one night when the air was starting to get brisk and the seasons were starting to change that Maya heard the knock at her window again. She shouldn't have been surprised to see that it was Lucas but for some reason she was.

She opened the window and moved aside quickly, mostly to get away from the cold air that he was bringing in with him. "You can knock on my door, you do know that right? You've done it before so I know you know where it is," she joked. She didn't mind though, it wasn't like she didn't treat Riley's room the exact same way.

"You're just lucky I knock." He unbuttoned his jacket and Maya had to laugh as she watched him.

"You're always going to be Texas. Six years later and you still can't handle how cold it gets. This is still sweater weather for us," she mocked. He responded with a dramatic head shake and continued to shed his layers onto a chair in the corner of her bedroom.

Lucas still hadn't made any mention of why he'd come over when he made himself comfortable on the edge of her bed, but she hadn't insinuated that there was any rush either. It was comfortable. Which was weird. Why was Maya so comfortable with this boy that she'd known for six years but only began to have these one on one moments with recently?

She tried not to pay it too much thought. Thought only ruined things, and she liked this - whatever they had that was definitely, one hundred percent, absolutely not a relationship of any sort.

"Were you doing anything important? I was just kind of walking and I just ended up here." He seemed to do that pretty often, although most of the time it didn't result in him actually stopping by so it wasn't like she'd know that.

Maya reached for her sketchbook off of her desk and crawled back into the middle of the bed. If Lucas wasn't there for anything other than hanging out then she was going to take advantage of the absentminded downtime. "No, I was just...I don't even remember what I'd been doing, so it couldn't have been important at all." She opened up to a blank page and started sketching as she spoke.

Lucas didn't ask about it the way people usually did. It didn't seem like he was uninterested or anything though, just that he was respectful of her privacy. "Is it okay if I hang out here for a bit then? I just really don't want to be home and I couldn't take the cold anymore."

At this Maya stopped what she was doing and looked up at him with a sad smile. "You know you can come here whenever you want, right? My mom picked up a second job so she's usually gone until late again and it's not like she would care even if she was here but it's boring being here alone all the time." She wasn't sure if boring had been the right word to use but if it would make him feel more welcomed then it wasn't important.

"God, I would kill for that right now. Not being lonely all the time or anything just," he trailed off, looking toward her bedroom door as if he was looking through it at the emptiness of the rest of the apartment. "My dad's here and my dad's never here. They fight all the time and I don't even know why he showed up. I said I didn't want to go to Texas for thanksgiving and he flipped out and booked a ticket without even asking if either of us wanted him here."

Maya tilted his head at him in confusion. She knew that his parents had divorced but she'd always been under the impression that Lucas had a good relationship with his father. Sure, she knew that his side of the family had always made him feel pretty inferior but with the amount that he flew back and forth between the states she was sure that there was at least some hero worship there or something.

"It's just never quiet and I keep getting dragged into the middle of it. I don't know why he won't just stay in a hotel if he insists on being here. We don't even have a guest room so I have to sleep on the couch. Basketball is already killing me. I don't need this too," he continued as Maya kept her eyes trained on him, listening intently without interrupting.

He wasn't acknowledging her anyway, just staring off into the distance and venting. She was okay with that. If she could be one thing for Lucas Friar then she was glad that it could be a sounding board. She knew it was something that she searched for more than anything sometimes and she was sure it was the same for him.

Lucas kept on venting about things, some heated and some sad, and Maya kept on listening without preoccupying herself with her sketching. This was more important, and honestly it was how she would have preferred to spend her night anyway.

"What do you do when you feel like the only thing you are to people is a vote in their favor or a card in their back pocket to win an argument?" It was the first time he'd looked at Maya this whole time and he wasn't looking away as she contemplated the question.

Their eyes were locked and if Maya was being honest it was making coming up with an answer all that much harder. Of course she knew that at some point she was going to be asked to weigh in on what she was saying, she just hadn't imagined that the question would hit so close to home for her.

"I don't really let people make me feel like that anymore. I mean, sure, they treat me that way still constantly. It's not just my parents though. I've always been the sidekick or the plot device or whatever. I think that's what you're feeling like at least, right," She asked to make sure she was even going in the right direction with the question. She continued when he nodded. "I just let them. It sounds so much easier said than done I'm sure, but I just tune into me. It's probably why I draw so much. It gets me out of their world and into my own and I'm the main character in mine. They can't control it. I guess that doesn't really help you though."

He laughed at her last words and nodded, finally breaking eye contact and falling back into the bed with his legs still hanging off. She finally set her sketchpad off to the side entirely. She wasn't going to need it anymore tonight and she knew it.

"Is it really healthy to just fold in on yourself like that though?"

She thought about the question momentarily before shrugging. "I don't know. Is it really healthy to allow people to make you feel like a supporting player when they're supposed to love you unconditionally?"

He nodded, not to say that it was, but to acknowledge that he saw her point.

She knew that it was really terrible advice. She really did. Their talks were usually so clarifying. He seemed to ask the questions that really prodded her in ways that nobody else ever did. This time she couldn't pretend to have it figured out though. They were a lot more alike than either had let on.

"If you go and make me some tea I'll let you stay here tonight. In a real bed and everything. You're too tall for a couch," she teased in case there was any awkwardness due to the offer.

Luckily she was met with a thankful but sad smile that could have shattered her heart into a million pieces if she gave it the chance. All she let it do was put a small frown on her own face, but only after he'd gotten up to put on a pot of water.


	5. Chapter 5

It was Christmas Eve and the Matthews' had hosted a small gathering at the bakery for family and friends and now everybody was piling back out into the snow and waving their goodbyes.

Maya and her mother were actually planning to spend the evening together now that Katy's shift was over. There were plans to bake cookies and listen to cheesy Christmas music. It was actually something Maya was looking forward to.

A loud voice calling her name stopped her in her tracks and she turned holding the box of fudge that they'd been given to take home. "You go on and I'll catch up in a few minutes," she said to her mother as she passed off the box and walked toward Lucas to see what he needed.

As far as Maya knew he'd shown up without his parents and late, probably for that very reason. "What's up," she asked as she got closer.

"I just wanted to give you this." Her hands her shoved in her pockets now so she had to extract one to take the gift he was holding out to her. It looked like he'd had it professionally wrapped.

"What's this? We did secret Santa. You weren't supposed to get people gifts on top of it," she told him confused.

He rocked on the balls of his feet, probably to keep warm, and she couldn't help but notice the way the flakes of snow covered his hair with each passing second.

"I didn't. You've taught me a lot in the past few months about you and about myself and I just wanted to get you something. It's not much or anything. Just a thank you." He sounded a bit panicked, as if he expected his gesture to be received with the vitriol that their old game held.

"You didn't have to do that," she insisted quietly, but began to pull the tape up on the gift none the less. It wasn't like she was going to turn down free stuff after all.

She tore the paper off carefully and handed it to him so that she could study the contents of the package. Her eyes widened as she turned it over and over in her hands, a small gasp leaving her lips. It was a leather bound sketchbook and it was probably the nicest thing she'd ever seen. It was thick and had a leather strap around it to keep it shut. The edges of the pages were coated in gold and her initials were embroidered into the front on the bottom corner in the same color.

She looked up at him and if you asked her she would tell you that her eyes were watering because of the bitter cold. He wasn't going to ask her though. Instead he just looked at them and smiled.

"This is too much," she insisted, although she knew it wouldn't get her anywhere.

"Well I don't think they want a journal with your initials back so at this rate you may as well just keep it." The joke was obvious but Maya didn't laugh. She was still too moved to snap out of the trance he'd managed to put her in.

She turned it over again in her hands and smiled at him. "Thank you. This is now probably the nicest thing I own. I might even have to start locking my door since I finally have something of value to protect." As lighthearted as the statement was Lucas knew that it was probably at least a little true. He laughed anyway.

They stood for a few minutes just there. Together. It wasn't until Riley came out of the bakery as her parents locked up that they snapped out of their trance.

They all said their goodbyes moments later and Maya turned to head to her home where her mother and a thousand questions about why that sweet southern boy had turned her daughter into a pile of goo were waiting for her.

it wasn't until she settled in for the night that she finally opened the sketchbook to find an envelope with her name on it. She set her pencil and the book down beside her and opened it to find a letter.

She wasn't sure how she'd missed this on the sidewalk but there hadn't been a reason to open the book and let the snow ruin the pages at the time she supposed.

The letter was scrawled in Lucas' handwriting, which wasn't really that horrible for a seventeen year old boy. Maya only had to strain to make out a few words.

 _Maya,_

 _I know we've always gotten along best through playful jabs and carefully crafted insulting but non-offensive nicknames but this year has felt different. We've had conversations before but they never felt like this._

 _I find myself wanting to talk to you first no matter what happens. You've quickly become the person I want to show when I get a good grade and the person I want to complain to when I get put on second string because my back got jacked up from the couch._

 _I don't know how it happened or when but I'm not mad about it. You've been such a good friend to me and I'm sorry that it wasn't something I discovered sooner._

 _You've brought out things in me that I didn't know were there. I'm not the dopey kid who's okay with anything anymore. I think about things more and I question them more. I credit you for that._

 _You make me want to have more opinions. You make me want to stand for things instead of letting everyone else tell me how I should feel. I like that about myself now. I like that about you._

 _I made a decision on my own without anybody interfering or giving their input to sway me and I thought maybe you'd like to hear it._

 _You're my best friend._

 _Lucas_

it only took Maya fifteen or twenty minutes to compose herself enough to pull out her phone and start typing a text to Lucas. She didn't care that it was two in the morning now. If it woke him up then he deserved it for making her cry.

 _You're such a sap and I hate you. You're my best friend too. Merry Christmas._

He didn't text her back until around nine am Christmas morning. It wasn't a surprise, all things considered, but she found herself a little too happy when she heard the text tone.

They sent a few messages back and forth sporadically over the next couple of hours, both reasonably preoccupied with the holiday and their families. And then Katy had to go to the diner, because in New York City it was unheard of for things to close down just because it was Christmas. Nobody got that lucky.

Lucas insisted that she come over to his house for their family dinner, saying that a turkey lean cuisine was not acceptable to his mother, who had taken to her immediately all those years ago.

Maya bundled herself up after changing into something a little more holiday dinner appropriate and began the short walk to Lucas' house. He definitely didn't live in a neighborhood as bad as hers but he didn't live in the better part of the borough either. It definitely wasn't far enough to require the subway.

A good fifteen minutes later Maya was inside with her jacket and scarf hung about to sit at an actual dinner table that didn't belong to Riley. It was a bit strange for her. She was sure that Lucas could tell, and she was thankful that he didn't tease her for sticking so close to him.

They ate what Maya was sure had to be a feast by definition happily. It didn't take her long to find her groove even though there were a few aunts and uncles that she'd never met before. It was nice to share the day with people that weren't on tv and she made a mental note to tell Lucas as much later.

When the herd thinned out the two found themselves on the living room couch still pressed up fairly close considering they'd been having to share the couch with two other people for the past thirty minutes. Still, neither made a move to put any space between them.

If anything, Maya curled into him even more as he stretched and visibly relaxed for the first time that day. He didn't seem to mind her closeness and even went as far as to pick off some of the fuzz from her sweater.

It was comfortable silence that turned into post holiday napping, still curled up on that couch only now with Maya's head on Lucas' chest and his arms wrapped comfortably around her. Of course, if you asked Maya she would assure you that it was a complete accident and that their exhaustion had prevented them from relocating to a more comfortable and separate place to rest.

Not that anybody was going to ask Maya because Maya didn't plan on anybody ever finding out in the first place. Especially not about how she pretended to stay sleeping much longer than she actually had just so that she could stay like that longer.


	6. Chapter 6

The aftermath of their holiday together should really have transpired into awkward hellos and the two avoiding one another in the halls. At least, that's what you would have assumed had you been anyone other than Maya or Lucas, because nobody else was privy to how close the two had actually become.

What actually happened was quite the opposite. It had ended up resulting in almost constant texting and stolen glances when nobody was paying any attention to them. They made physical contact a whole lot more, that was for sure. Usually just nudges on the arm, a hand on the small of Maya's back as they stood in a group, even accidental things like knees and arms brushing together as they sat too closely.

It was as if there was a magnetic pull and neither had put in any effort to fight it.

The weeks dragged on this way and they only ended up closer and closer, with Lucas dropping by more often and instigating some deep conversation or another. Some Maya could provide her original insight that drew them together for and some she couldn't.

It wasn't until the end of January that Lucas caught her off guard again.

"So this Valentine's Day dance that's coming up," he started, looking at her a little more intently than he usually did when he started a conversation.

They'd just been sitting in the library during their free period so that Lucas could help Maya with a math assignment that she couldn't understand no matter how hard her teacher tried.

She looked at him incredulously, her confidence in their talks wavering ever so slightly. "I'm not going to a Valentine's Day dance with you, Cowboy," she told him matter of factly.

He laughed at the nickname, which she hadn't been using with him in quite some time (and especially not one on one) but shook his head. "No, no, that's the last thing we need is people badgering us to define anything. I just thought since I don't plan on going I'd see if you weren't either and since everyone else definitely will be, maybe we could keep one another company."

He was looking down at his pencil, twirling it around in his fingers as he spoke. It was unlike him. He wasn't usually so bashful about asking Maya stuff like this. Hell, he'd even asked her out on what was, underneath it all, a date with more ease than this.

She pursed her lips and went over his words carefully. What did he mean define anything? Their definition was clear. That shouldn't have been the hard part. She wasn't even ready to consider the possibility that it wasn't all that clear at all. "Yeah we can hang out. I probably would have just gone as Riley's date, but having a slasher marathon sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than staring at baby cupids made out of construction paper."

He breathed a sigh of relief at that. He wasn't sure why he'd been so worried about her reaction. He was just terrified sometimes hat he was going to find a way to make it weird. Honestly though, if he hadn't by now then he probably wasn't going to.

* * *

The day of the dance rolled around in no time and Maya had decided to celebrate the holiday with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that she was pretty sure wasn't her own. The two had decided to spend their evening over at her place so that they wouldn't be interrupting anybody. It definitely wasn't so that they could have privacy.

He came to her door this time instead of through the window. He knew that her mother was out because for once they'd made their plans for him to drop by in advance. That wasn't the biggest difference about the evening though.

The biggest difference was that when Maya opened the door she was met with a bouquet of flowers and a stuffed bear. "It's stupid I know I just stopped to get the movie candy and it was all just there. I thought it would make you laugh," he announced as he handed them off to her.

Obviously if he was presenting it as a joke then that was how Maya was going to take it. She didn't dare consider that he was downplaying his intentions. She didn't dare consider that this was an actual Valentine's Day date either, but anybody else would have been able to spot it from a mile away.

"Well gee willikers I'd better put these purdy flowers in some water," she said in her best southern accent. She'd lost her touch and she knew it but she still had to try in those situations where she didn't really know what to do.

She walked over to the kitchen and pulled a vase down from a cabinet that she had to stand on a chair to reach. It was pathetic but he didn't say anything, and she appreciated that. She carried the flowers over to set on the end table next to where she'd be sitting on the couch. Truthfully they meant more to her than she was willing to let on. She also wouldn't let on when she brought them into her bedroom later to adorn her bedside table.

"What first," she asked finally, deciding to set the perspective awkwardness aside and opening up Netflix on the living room tv, which she used the Matthews' password for and had her own account on and everything.

They spent a few minutes picking out their first movie and it didn't take long before they were situated far too close on the couch, much like they'd been at Lucas' house at Christmas. It wasn't uncommon for them anymore. They both clearly craved the human contact and neither had any issues with being that for one another.

It was when Lucas' fingers started grazing the skin of Maya's arm that the attention was drawn.

"What are you doing," she asked in a whisper, turning her attention away from the movie to look at him. His eyes were trained on her and not bouncing around like she'd expected. She didn't know how to explain the look he was giving her and she wasn't sure yet if she even wanted to.

Lucas must have noticed her apprehension though because he was quickly inching away from her side to give her some personal space. "I'm sorry, I know the whole point of this was that a date on Valentine's Day was too much. Let's just watch the movie."

The disappointment in his voice caught Maya by more surprise than the move he made had in the first place and without thinking she was grabbing at the fabric of his shirt and pulling him closer to her, back to where he'd been minutes before. "Stop being dumb I don't want to just watch the movie. I want you to stay here and tell me what that was."

"You said that you saw yourself ending up this way," was all he said, his voice barely any louder than hers, barely any louder than necessary to be heard over the movie.

She wasn't sure she understood. In fact, she was sure she didn't at all. "What do you mean end up this way?"

He didn't answer and she didn't look away. They were at a stand still and it didn't look like he planned on breaking until she worked it out on her own. But that didn't seem as if it was going to happen so finally Lucas just sighed.

"I have a question," he started finally breaking the silence. She nodded for him to go on, but he stayed silent for a moment or two longer with an expression that let her know that he was trying to figure out how to word it. "If I had asked you to the dance tonight as my date with an actual definition attached to it would I have ruined everything?"

He was blushing and Maya could tell by the look in his eyes that he was terrified of all of this. She shook her head almost immediately.

"Lucas, no. You're my best friend and you mean so much to me. I know I told you that I wasn't going to go to the dance with you but I would have. If you were serious then I would have." Her promise was met with a small smile that prompted one of her own. She wasn't sure what any of this meant for them or why he was asking, but if she opened herself up to it then she was sure she had an idea.

"That's what you meant by ending up this way. I told you that I saw myself being with someone for a long time before I knew I was with someone." It wasn't a question and Lucas knew that she wasn't looking for confirmation. He held his breath as she worked it out. He could see the wheels turning and the smoke basically pouring from her ears as it all molded itself together.

Maya thought about all of the stolen glances, all of the small touches, all of the times he made her smile just by being around. She thought about how it never annoyed her when he just showed up and started asking her personal questions. How she hadn't thought twice about inviting him to sleep in her bed and how she'd pretended to be asleep on his couch so that he would snuggle with her a little longer.

She tilted her head to the side and studied him for what seemed to Lucas like hours. "How long have you been my long story?"

She wanted to laugh at his smile because it was just so pathetically adorable, but she didn't because she was certain she'd have one to match before the night was through. Instead she just reached her hand out and laced their fingers together as she waited for his answer.

"I think since that first night, honestly," he told her as he looked down at their fingers. He didn't plan on letting her let go and that was okay because she didn't plan on asking him to.

"So much for not defining ourselves tonight," she joked, but then gave him a small shove with her free hand. "You totally bought me those flowers as an actual romantic gesture you liar. You set me up for all of this."

He huffed out a laugh but he didn't bother trying to defend himself. Instead he just took the opportunity to tip her jaw up gently with his index finger and leaned forward to finally find out just how many fireworks kissing Maya Hart was going to set off.


End file.
